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What is the expert answer to love
| 作者：SOHO特区网
-上传日期：2021-5-10 |
When a lover exchanges pink teddy bear and chocolate heart with his or her lover, some scientists put love under MRI and microscope - they are studying what love is?
Before the next Valentine's day in 2020, life science magazine decided to ask experts a question: what is love? Here are the experts' cautious answers:
Answer-1: an all inclusive desire
What is romantic love? Said Lucy brown, a neuroscientist at Albert Einstein School of medicine? When it appears, it's like thirst: it's undeniable. When we are in the early stages of romantic love, our day's thoughts and plans are dominated by it. Although as individuals, we express romantic love in different ways, either clinging to each other, alienating each other, or supporting each other, love sometimes makes us ecstatic and drives us to a person. The world has become magical and wonderful, and the existence of beloved makes it so.
As a neuroscientist, "driven by one person" is the key word for having a lover; "happiness" is also an important word. Magnetic resonance imaging studies have shown that when everyone looks at the face of a loved one and thinks about the idea of love, the primitive nervous system of drive, reward recognition and pleasure is active. This places romantic love in the company of the survival system, just like those systems that make us hungry and thirsty. I think romantic love is part of human reproductive strategy. It helps us form a matching bond and help us survive. We were born to experience the magic of love and to be driven closer to another loved one.
Answer-2: someone camping in your head
Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and chief scientific adviser at match.com, believes that love is multifaceted for many people, but I think there are three basic types of love: sexuality; romantic love; and deep attachment to a partner.
When I studied the brain, my colleagues and I had put more than 60 men's and women's brains between the ages of 18 and 57 into a brain scanner (fMRI) to study the brain circuit of romantic love. So, Valentine's day, let's talk about the basic feelings of romantic love. When you fall in love, the first thing is that someone accepts what I call "special meaning" and everything about him or her becomes unique. Their car is different from other cars in the parking lot; the street he lives in; her favorite music: it's all special and unique. Some people get to this stage faster than others. In fact, in a recent national survey of singles in the United States that I worked with match.com, we found that 54% of men and 44% of women said they had experienced love at first sight.
Once there, you start paying attention to him or her - usually to the detriment of the people around you. When things go well, the lover will be in high spirits. When their lover doesn't write or call, he will fall into extreme despair due to emotional fluctuation. Lovers feel intense energy and various physical symptoms, such as heart rate acceleration, palmar sweating or stomach tension - "palmar sweating syndrome". Most people are also very possessive - animal behaviorists call it "mate guarding.". But there are three basic characteristics of romantic love: one is the strong desire of lovers to establish emotional connection with lovers; the other is the desire of lovers to hear those precious words, such as "I love you"; the third is the desire and motivation of obsessed men and women to win loved ones. Perhaps the best illustration of these States is that lovers are obsessed with the person they love; just as someone camped in your head. In fact, many symptoms of romantic love are caused by the increase of dopamine in the brain, which drives the flow of primitive brain networks related to desire, energy, excitement and motivation.
This knowledge led me to conclude that romantic love is a primitive reproductive power that evolved to allow our ancestors (and ourselves) to focus our mating energy on a specific individual and begin the process of intercourse (including sexual life). Of all the philosophers and poets (and many more) who have described romantic love, Plato may be the best. "Eros lives in a state of need," he wrote Romantic love is a kind of demand, a kind of desire, a kind of imbalance of internal balance, a kind of motivation to win the greatest reward in life: a personality and a partner who loves life.
Answer-3: glue in social safety net
Daniel Krueger, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan, said: love is an experience that promotes connection and commitment to others, encourages stable relationships, and ultimately contributes to our own reproductive success. Without these experiences, we may be more inclined to act for our own short-term interests, thus having harmful consequences for cooperative social relations.
Our love for family and friends helps to build a social safety net. Our love for romantic partners, including the transformation of different types of love, helps to develop and maintain a reproductive partnership. The system seems to be designed to last until shared offspring no longer need ongoing parental care. Understanding this system design does not reduce the intensity or authenticity of these experiences.
Answer-4: the desire to care
According to David givens, an anthropologist and director of the center for nonverbal research in Spokane, Washington, love is a strong emotion to approach a passionate object; but it is also a desire to be loyal and loving to a person, a place or a thing; this desire for care can also be a strong sense of attachment to family members, especially to infants or young children.
Givens pointed out that human love evolved from the functional organization of neurons in the brain of the most primitive mammals and was designed for the desire of care. The brain scans of 30 young and middle-aged lovers and 20 lactating mothers were conducted at Rutgers University in New Jersey. The researchers found that the two brain regions of the 50 subjects, the ventral tegmental area and the nucleus accumbens, were very active and secreted a large amount of dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen / oxytocin. It can be seen that the brain of lactating mothers Activity is very similar to the brain activity pattern under the influence of love. So my proposition is: love is in our hearts. It is deeply rooted in the brain, and "the desire to care" is the goal of love.
Answer-5: sexual matching
Louis Garcia, a psychology professor at Rutgers University in Camden, New Jersey, believes that there is ample evidence that sex plays an important role in romantic relationships. For example, many studies have shown that sexual satisfaction and satisfaction with relationships are interrelated. In addition, the study found that having a satisfactory sexual life is a feature of a successful long-term relationship.
A study I conducted with Dr. Charlotte Markey on the love of couples who are dating, cohabiting or getting married shows that sex may play a role when they start dating. In this study, we found that couples' sexual experience levels before falling in love are often matched. In other words, people with relatively high levels of sexual experience tend to pair up with people with relatively high levels of sexual experience. In addition, the more similar the couple's previous sexual experience, the higher their satisfaction and commitment to the relationship.
Answer-6: the state of respect
Kate Wacks, a psychologist and relationship expert and founder of drkate.com in Chicago and author of "the relationship of fools", believes that love usually includes a high degree of mutual respect, while a mutual respect love partner is each other's number one fan. Partners desire to respect each other's best, including each other's best. Therefore, true respect for state of love usually includes high honesty, loyalty, trust, emotional support, selfless sharing and friendship. There is usually a healthy sense of "similarity" between partners; that is, they appreciate each other as a unique, independent entity and feel honored that the other respects them and their company.
Partners sincerely hope to respect each other, not only to give each other, but also to bring each other to a balanced and healthy level. Both sides are willing to give and receive emotional support. Couples look after each other and try to respect their partner's needs, aspirations and welfare - not be asked to do this or that. In a state of mutual respect, people who love each other usually enjoy each other's company more than others.
In fact, the opposite of love is not hate, but not care. If you've ever fallen in love with someone, the only internal reason to lose love is to lose respect for them.
Answer-7: lasting connection
According to Stephanie ortiger, a neuroscientist at Syracuse University, love seems to be a simple concept, but there is no consistent definition of what it is. The definition I use here is based on neuroimaging and psychological research.
Love is a complex state of reward and motivation, with a strong desire to integrate with others. This mental state includes chemical, emotional and cognitive components. Love is more than a basic, intense emotion that lasts only a few seconds. Love is a psychological concept of cognition and emotion, which is regulated by activation of specific neural network. As long as the activation of this neural network is maintained, the concept of love can be maintained.
So far, there is no biological evidence that love is born with an expiration date. On the contrary, many different factors can regulate the activation of this love related neural network. Along the way, love can be defined as a long-term spiritual concept, connecting people across time and space. This definition applies to many different types of love, such as passionate love, partner love, maternal / paternal love and unconditional love.
Answer-8: historical constant
According to Stephanie Koontz, a social historian at Evergreen State University in Olympia, Washington, and author of "strange disturbance: female mystery and American women in the early 1960s", romantic love exists in every culture and era. But until recently, it was considered a good basis for courtship and marriage. For thousands of years, most couples have been married in order to establish favorable social and business alliances or expand the family workforce. They either bury their romantic dreams or romance outside of marriage.
In the early 19th century, when love became the main motive of courtship, love was redefined to adapt to the unequal roles and choices of husband and wife. Men love women because they don't want to be forgiven or even understand when it comes to parenting and emotions. Women love men because they are strong and knowledgeable about what women are not allowed to do. It is speculated that each gender has skills and personality traits that other genders do not possess and cannot acquire unless through love. So part of the excitement of romantic love comes from how emotional a person's other half is.
In today's world, this sense of "historical constant" is more and more irrelevant to the permanence of love. Our challenge now is to reconcile love and friendship and make our similarities and differences sexy.
Journal of life sciences, No. 4, 2020
By G. guadano, a social psychologist at the University of Alabama
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