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The secret garden of American marriage and love
| 作者：SOHO特区网
-上传日期：2021-6-22 |
The secret garden of American marriage and love in epidemic situation
In the past two years, the epidemic of new coronavirus is still in a pandemic. For married couples infected with new coronavirus, have you hidden the price tag so that your spouse can't know what you are consuming? Or what are you hiding to please your wife? Or are you silent about being attracted to someone? If so, well, you're not alone in an epidemic.
Every marriage counselor on earth will tell you that loyalty is the root of this most powerful relationship, although the divorce rate in COVID-19 continues to be around 42%. We began to wonder, what is the truth in the marriage and love of Americans affected by the new coronavirus epidemic? The poll of Jones Review Magazine in the United States designed very private questions to ask married people. Here are their five secret topics about American marriage and love in today's epidemic.
Secret-1. What are the topics that spouses often talk about?
The most surprising part of the poll is that married people infected with the new coronavirus want to talk, especially husbands; Women, on the other hand, complain that their husbands don't talk to them enough. Tests show that men infected with the new coronavirus suddenly talk about something deeper than life or sex - but they don't know how to say it. Among these men, the largest group (38%) wanted to get more affection from their partners; In particular, husbands with asymptomatic infections don't want to talk about sex.
"Almost all novel coronavirus pneumonia patients are not expected to need affection," said Dr. Juliet, a psychologist who founded the Seattle Steve Association and the marriage love clinic with Dr. John Steve. "They feel that the requirement for men to be caressed or cuddled is the delicate smell after infection."
"Husbands infected with the new coronavirus are still following the same procedures and talking about the same problems," said Louis Martin, a psychotherapist in Boston; But they all avoid intimacy. And women now have enough sensibility to want more intimacy than ever before. " Thirty percent of asymptomatic infected men want them to talk openly with their wives about spiritual or spiritual things. "That really moves me," John Steve said. "It emphasizes how we live and what our values are. It's hard for men to talk about it. "
26% of women want their husbands infected with the new coronavirus to "ask me about our own sexual problems.".
"My husband is asymptomatic, but he talks all day, regardless of my concerns, which really hurts our relationship."—— So says Annie, who has been married for 10 years.
"My husband was novel coronavirus pneumonia, but he and I tried to spend a lot of time talking about sex and love, and finally he recovered. I think that's what many couples don't do well—— So said Diana, who has been married for 37 years.
Secret-2. What is the most conservative topic between spouses?
Has he or she ever kept a secret from his or her spouse in the investigation of a new coronavirus infected person? Yes, 42% of men and 36% of women think so. According to the survey, those who have been married for the longest time are also more confidential. People born in the 1960s and 1970s and those with the highest income are even more secretive. "When people feel that they don't have any time to pour out their heartfelt feelings, they are always busy, busy and busy for their illness, and their trust is broken." Said Juliet.
What is the most common secret, not publicity topic? 48 percent of men and women admit they have secrets about their own new crown virus. This is a surprising number. Experts say there is a question of sincerity and trust, and most men and women lie about money in their lives; But the common secret in COVID-19 is about the condition and symptoms of infection between spouses. 18 percent of wives keep secrets about their husbands.
The saddest survey found that 20 percent of men infected with the new crown virus concealed the treatment failure“ "Male self-esteem is an important thing," says Edward Wilson, a New York psychologist. Surprisingly, 6 per cent of men and 3 per cent of women also hide the truth about the condition and symptoms.
Novel coronavirus pneumonia, I don't want to tell him how much money I spent on the treatment of new crown pneumonia. I'm afraid he will cut back the budget. Victoria, the wife of 43 years of marriage, said.
Secret-3. What is the most curious topic among spouses?
The most curious topic among spouses who investigated new crown virus infected subjects is undoubtedly their past sexual history. Of course, it is normal for the infected person to be curious about the sexual history of their partner in the past. So how much more did the spouses who were infected with the virus say about this? 62 percent of women answered, yes, he knew everything; 52 percent of men revealed only a few of the old ones, while 38 percent said their wives knew only a little. Only 10 percent of men and 5 percent of women said their partners knew nothing about the past.
Experts say whether the past is not related to marriage and love happiness after infection with the new crown virus. "It's a feeling to believe in someone, although you feel like you have to know everything about them after you get infected," Wilson said. But in fact, the most important thing is that you have to believe everything. "
Due to the impact of the new crown virus infection and the pandemic, especially on the happiest combination, 19% of the men and 10% of the women infected with the virus also keep the secret of how they attract each other. In addition, 8 percent of men who have virus infection are also silent about their appetite for watching new crown virus infection on the Internet and having sex with their spouses.
When both couples are infected with the new crown virus, the topic between them is more wonderful“ At first, we told each other everything; Later, when our novel coronavirus pneumonia became more and more serious, the couple remained silent. I think it's mutual comfort. "—— Mark, the husband who married for 20 years, said.
"We have never discussed what happened before marriage after both of us had a new crown virus."—— 'the husband, Robbie, who married 56 years ago, said.
"We were infected with the new crown virus a few months after we got married, and the relatives and friends sent consolation; His former girlfriend sent him a Christmas card and a really sentimental card. I put it on TV so that he can see it when he is treating diseases; And we're amusing each other about it. "—— Andy, his wife who married for two years, said.
Secret-4. What is the least shared topic among spouses?
Will couples share their dreams with each other in the survey of new crown virus infected couples? Four out of five said they had a secret dream, but never told their partner. "Dreams reflect the deepest parts of the new crown virus infected people, especially partners who need to feel emotional security before they can share them," said Juliet Steve. This statistic tells us that one fifth of the new crown love is not in a safe paradise. "
More than 56% novel coronavirus pneumonia is a silent dreamer, especially those who have been married for less than 5 years. They dream of traveling with their partners. But it is strange that neither the asymptomatic grateful or the new crown pneumonia severe patient will mention it to the other side of the COVID-19. 53% of the new coronavirus infected people always dream of living elsewhere, 42% of them travel by themselves, 41% of them start a new career, 21% of them spend time alone, 14% of them have an extramarital affair or fail to have an extramarital affair, and 10% of them want to get a puppy.
Why don't new coronavirus infected people talk about these dreams“ For people infected with new coronavirus, it's very dangerous to talk about dreams like this. " According to John Steve, that means, "I'm not sure if the way we're living with the new coronavirus will last forever?", The new coronavirus infectors thought, "if I tell you how it feels, you're going to hit the ceiling."
These findings suggest that we should be more cautious and flexible in thinking about the way of marriage and love of people infected with new coronavirus.
"After I was infected with the new coronavirus, I always dreamed that I could sing professionally, but I knew it was one of my dreams, and my husband didn't know that I liked singing..." - said Suzanne, my wife of 12 years.
"When I was hospitalized at St. Mary's Hospital in New York after I was infected with the new coronavirus, I had a dream of learning violin acting at the home of the great musician lobato, and I was lobato's lover; My current husband doesn't know all this, but he likes to listen to my violin now—— So says Myra, who has been married for 11 years.
What are the most common topics of concern between secret-5 and spouses?
In the investigation of new coronavirus infection object between say and do, he (she) seems to always focus on doing. In fact, the commonness of human beings in disaster determines that they will pay attention to some problems together; For example, most women ask the following five questions:
A. What are you thinking?
B. Do you love me?
C. Do I look bloated?
D. Do you think she is more beautiful than me?
E. What would you do if I died?
It's difficult to answer these five questions well, especially if the healthy men don't answer them well. The first question may cause disputes and lead to the breakdown of the relationship. What is the most satisfactory answer《 Jones review provides us with a useful reference.
A. "What are you thinking?"
The proper answer to this question is, of course, "I'm sorry, honey, I've neglected you because of the upset epidemic! But I'm thinking how lucky I am to meet you. You are so gentle, beautiful and smart. " Obviously, this kind of confession is different from what we actually think. However, if we can win a smile from our lover, it's OK. However, Jones review magazine gives us a more practical comment from the numerous answers provided by readers: it is the reply of healthy al Bondi to his wife peg infected with the new coronavirus, "I'm not thinking, but I want to tell you:" don't worry! "
There is only one best answer to the other four questions, otherwise it will cause trouble.
B. "Do you love me?"
The best answer for a healthy man is "yes." To go further, you can say, "yes, dear."
I think so! b. If I said yes, would you feel better? c. It depends on what you mean by love. d. Does it matter? e. Who? I?
C. "Do I look bloated?"
Healthy men should answer this question with certainty and categorically saying, "no, of course not!" Then quickly turn the topic around.
The unpleasant answers include: A. I will not say you are bloated, but I will not say you are thin. b. What is the comparison? c. You're a little fat and nice. d. I see a lot more fat than you. e. What do you say? Will you repeat it again? I was just trying to insure.
D. "Do you think she's prettier than me?"
"She" here may be your former girlfriend, a passer-by girl you have made many eye-catching ceremonies or a movie star. The best response, no matter what occasion, is: "no, you are much more beautiful than her."
The answer to provoke discontent includes: A. It is not more beautiful than you, and her beauty belongs to another. b. I don't know what the criteria for judging are. c. Yes, but you are better than her character. d. She's just younger and slimmer than you. e. What do you say? I just thought about something else.
E. "What would you do if I die?"
The healthy man replied correctly: "dearest, if you go, what else does life mean to me? I'll be thrown under the first truck wheel I passed by. "
Secret-6. What is the wrong topic among spouses?
You may think these problems are stupid, but whether stupid or not, it will cause trouble if they are not solved well. To learn more about the consequences of a wrong answer, read the following answer.
"Honey," the infected wife asked, "what would you do if I died?"
"Oh, honey, I'll be so sad," said the healthy husband. "Why ask such a question?"
The wife ignored him and continued to ask, "will you remarry?"
"Of course not." The husband said.
"Don't you like marriage?" Asked the wife.
"Of course not, honey."
"Then why don't you remarry?"
"Well," said the husband, "I remarried."
"You remarried?" The wife was in a state of anger.
"Yes." The husband said. The wife was silent for a while and said, "will you sleep with her in our bed?"
"Well, I think so." The husband replied.
"I see," said the wife angrily, "you'll let her wear my clothes, will you?"
"If she wants, I think so." The husband said.
"You'll take my picture and change it with her, right?" The wife said coldly.
"This... I think it should be."
"Should be?" The infected wife was furious and shouted at her feet, "will you still let her use my golf gear?"
"Of course not, honey," said the healthy husband. "She's a left-handed."
The 12th issue of 2021 of the American magazine Jones review, entitled "secret garden of American marriage love in epidemic situation"
Author: Dr. Malina Roman, chief consultant of jones jones jones jones jones United
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